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What’s, um, wrong with filler words, exactly?
What do the following words have in common: basically, really, actually, totally, exactly, very, highly, just, like, you know, uh, um, I mean, like I said, OK, so, well, right?, and stuff, literally? They’re all filler or weasel words — words we interject into our speaking when we’re struggling to find the right word to say.
If we’re not pausing, we’re filling up scary silences, afraid to relinquish the floor or to let the pause linger. Some people learn this habit as children, because if they stop talking they lose the floor at the dinner table, let’s say, and (wanting the attention) it’s good to hang onto the talking stick.
For other people, it’s the simple insecurity in letting the pause linger — having insufficient confidence in what you’ve said in order for you to be strong enough to let it sink in.
These sorts of pauses come at the end of thoughts and phrases, but some filler words are used to begin utterances. One of the most common these days is “So, ….” I hear that all the time. You might think of that as a lazy way of connecting to what’s been said before. If you say, “so,” you make it look like what you’re saying connects to the previous. So that way you come across as a better conversationalist, perhaps. But after the 6th or 7th “so,” the effect is less than delightful. So, use “so” with care.
